I’m bad at this. I always have been. The way this whole project came about because after being burned out on making music for years, I decided to dip my toes back in. Before I was out to be a rockstar. I wanted to make music my job. I had ambitions. Coming back to music after being burned out for so long, I am looking to take it slow. Just making music for musics sake. No goals, dreams or lofty ambitions and it’s been nice. But that also means it’s almost two years between records. Without the prodding of naïve aspirations of being a rockstar, the songs take time. It’s a “it’s done when it’s done” kind of situation.
There were many things that kept this record from being made. A failed experiment with an electric drum kit, a solid six months of only writing bass riffs after a friend and fellow worker loaned me their nice bass, working seven days a week since the last record came out. All these things made getting this thing done a challenge. I mean what am I even gonna write about? Why am I trying so hard when only two people bought the first record? Normally questions like these would have stressed me out but, no goals so who cares. Do it when you can, because you want to. It’s a refreshing feeling.
Since I was about 16 years old, I’ve been involved or aware or left wing politics to at least some degree, however small. But the last four years I have been deep in organizing circles. I’ve mostly greatly enjoyed it but there are some elements of the American revolutionary movement that do get under my skin. The lack of a clear post revolution vision, the strict adherence to theory, the endless meetings. These were the things I was thinking about while writing this record. Mostly it just feels like we are arguing semantics while the world burns around us. Not all the time, but enough of the time. I don’t care about century old beefs. History is only there to learn from. It is not a cage, but a starting line. So much talking but nothing happening.
But things are changing it feels like. Just slowly. Each day a thread of "civilization" gets tugged out. A norm is broken, a taboo traversed. The enemy gets bolder and more open. But we also have larger and larger wins. The masses feel ready for a big change and they are often so close to knowing what needs to change. A civil war has been brewing my whole adult life. It's a revolution out there, just at half speed. But that is how these things happen. The damn breaks only after cracks spread. First the drops come, then it all goes all at once. Here's hoping.
All those delays and musings aside, the record is here. It’s still just me, figuring my life out over riffs. It took a while to get here but I was trying to survive just like everyone else. Just like the music, slow and steady, it got there. Maybe I’ll see you when the next one crawls out of me. Until then, solidarity forever.